Important Things in Life
by kamikumai
Summary: Dean Wincester was not a materialistic person. In fact, there were only really two objects that Dean cared about. The most obvious, of course, was the Impala. The other? Warning: Wincesty, with potential spoilers for 'A Very Supernatural Christmas.'


**Word from the Author:** Wow, it really feels like I've been away forever... Speaking of which, I have much trauma to share. There was a bit of an accident, with a certain very important harddrive, upon which many important things were stored... Such as absolutely all of the fanfics that I have ever written, that I ever was in the process of writing, and even those that were simply in the stages of being plotted... It's for this very reason that I haven't posted any new chapters for HP&SP - the fic which suffered the most from this, for I lost about 15k words, not to mention many of the drafts for future chapters, characterization and events.

This little tidbid, 'Important Things in Life,' which I wrote in response to the Christmas!Supernatural episode, was in fact one such lost piece of fanfiction. In essence, I more or less ended up recreating it from the abyss of my mind...

I will be doing similarly with a lot of my stuff, after much consideration. Of course at first I was seriously disheartened by just how much effort I would have to put in to do so. BUT! The more I thought about how much effort I had already put in to writing things such as the aforementioned 'Harry Potter and the Supernatural Phenomenon,' the more determined I felt to continue writing despite the setbacks (some evidently more major than others).

In some ways, this means a clean slate for me to start musing from. As such, I hope that this (I'm going to say 'new and improved' //crosses fingers//) version will be to your liking.

And to any of you who follow my writing, right now is probably the time when I am most in need of encouragement. That said, thank you, especially to those who have stuck things out with me thus far, new as I may be.

I hope to see you all again in future,

Kamikumai.

**Disclaimer:** Seriously, these people do not belong to me. ...No matter how many times I end up writing them.

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**Important Things in Life**

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Dean Winchester was not a materialistic person. Not really. In fact, there were all of two things that he knew he couldn't live without. And when I say things, I do mean objects. Anyone who spends even the smallest amount of time with Dean will likely come to realize that one of these two things is his car; the Impala, sleek and slightly old school.

What all these people probably don't realize however is just what the Impala means to Dean. For him, it's more than just a car. It's freedom. It'll take him wherever he needs or wants to go. And anywhere it can't take him, well, Dean figures it's probably not somewhere he needs or wants to go anyway. But even more than just physical freedom, it provides for him an emotional one as well.

When things get to him, _rarely_, he would no doubt proclaim, Dean drives, and purges himself, letting his emotions seep from his being and melt into the open road as it stretches out for miles before him, bleeding into a horizon that beckons for him to reach out and take. It's healing, it's soothing, and it's the only thing that's ever been known to fix him when Sam's not around.

All that time that Sam was away, Dean spent drifting. There was nothing else to tie him down. And the only place he wanted to be, he knew he couldn't go, no matter how many times he inadvertently found himself parked just outside Sam's dorm, then later his apartment.

Another thing about the Impala which makes Dean feel the kinship he does towards it is the fact that it's a weapon. Not unlike himself; built for the Hunt. In some ways, it's almost like an extension of himself, so losing it, he imagines, wouldn't be too different from losing a limb. There are times that even Sam will beat down on him on how he cherishes the Impala more than he values himself. The thing about that is, and the words to explain this always seem to elude him, it's the only thing he'll really be leaving behind. He won't be getting a tombstone, that's already been given to the other him they left for dead way back in St. Louis. The Impala is his legacy, and he wants it to be perfect… for Sam.

Other than the Impala, which most people who meet Dean will know of easily and well enough, there's something else that he treasures, equally if not more so. It's something that he almost can't bear to leave his bare skin. He has, on occasion, found himself panicking when he can't feel its reassuring weight slung around his neck. It used to never leave his neck, not when he was younger anyway. It wasn't until he started to sleep around, seeking pointless pleasure in willing bodies that he found himself unable to bear it on during such pursuits. Especially after those few times…

It was a rare thing, completely different to how it was with the Impala, that people came to know of his pendant's worth. He remembers her vaguely, beautiful, but nothing remarkable, that's how Dean likes his women. He would probably have remembered their time together fondly too, were it not for her behaviour afterwards. She'd looked up at him with doe eyes, her gaze lingering on the talisman, before more or less demanding that he give it to her, as a token of his affection.

Unlike Dean, the woman in question remembers that night all too well. She recalls the sudden sensation of every single one of those gorgeous muscles she was pressed against tensing to absolute tautness. The sudden chill that descended into the room was enough to make her shiver as her skin prickled and her hairs rose on end. But then she'd looked at his eyes, and it all became that much worse. His face had looked sleepy, almost content in its gentle repose, but his eyes… They were slivers of cold, hard rock, piercing through her, tearing her apart. The gentle affection and humor that had filled them just moments before had all but disappeared, and in their place she saw the eyes of a killer. She beat a hasty retreat after that, stammering out apologies for having presumed too much, as she slid out from under him. He didn't move, simply watched her, as she struggled not to cry. She didn't even bother to dress, caring more for her safety than for her dignity. And even once she'd gotten away from him, those eyes haunted her still.

He'd been ready to kill her for her suggestion, Dean knew. For her presumption that she meant anything more than precious release from the knowledge of his true desires that tormented him endlessly. What she didn't know was that she hadn't been looking into the eyes of a killer, not in the quotidian sense of the word, but into those of the Hunter. The Hunter was cold and unfeeling, he cared not for the world at large, beyond getting his job done. Dean was his softer side, the side that dealt with people and feelings, and even then, Dean wasn't particularly all that skilled at doing so. But still, both the Hunter and Dean loved Sam, Sammy, with all that they were. And by extension, they loved the pendant Sammy had given them. Much as the Impala was a part of them, the talisman to their mind was a part of Sam, given to them for safe keeping, just as they knew it was their duty and pleasure to protect Sam. So, anyone who messed with it, or Sam, had to deal with them both.

It was after that and a few other similar incidents that Dean decided not to wear the talisman during such trysts. There was no way he wanted any of those whores to put their hands on it, to let their vile, calculating eyes covet it. He wouldn't let them tarnish its beauty, its innocence. They didn't deserve to be in its presence.

So while it might seem to most that Dean Winchester is shallow, this half-truth is perpetuated by the simple fact that all they can see is the surface. And so they don't think to look... Because of this many have waded carelessly through his waters, stunned when they suddenly find themselves sinking into unknown depths and darkness. Completely unexpected, they loose their footing and find themselves flailing as they free fall into the abyss – Dean Winchester hides his demons well, especially the one he's embraced. The Hunter prowls within him, just beneath the surface. Always ready, always waiting.

All in all, there's no need for Dean Winchester to be materialistic. Not when all that he has ever wanted and desired comes wrapped in human packaging, is a person, not a thing. Because beyond the Impala and the freedom it brings, the power it gives him, beyond his pendant, which is really just an echo, a shadow of it all, is Sam Winchester, the most important thing in his life and quite possibly the next.

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Finis.

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End file.
